What the heck is self-trust?
If you’re like most people, you’ve never heard of self-trust. Because I’ve read hundreds of books on success, I’ve studied it some, but it’s not a common topic most authors or speakers cover. I recently read Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust and shared the stage with him last week in Vegas at my company’s convention. It’s amazing how little self-trust is talked about based on how powerful understanding it is for your success.
Let me ask you this . . . have you ever made a commitment to yourself and not followed through on it? New Year’s resolutions spring to mind or maybe a goal that you set but never followed through on for your business, health or finances. We’ve all done it. Imagine if that was a promise you made to someone else. Would you have tried harder to do what you said you were going to do? Most would answer that with a resounding YES!
Breaking your word with yourself results in low self-trust. It’s just that you’ve been doing it for so long that you don’t realize the damage it can cause you. Low trust is the very definition of a bad relationship. Are you in a bad relationship with yourself?
Why does this matter? Because you can’t build trust with others if you don’t first trust yourself! If you wanna know how to develop as a leader, then you must first understand how to re-gain your self-trust.
In Covey’s book, The Speed of Trust, he explains that self-trust is where you learn the foundational principle that allows you to build and sustain trust in all types of relationships. That principle is credibility. Ask yourself, “Am I credible?”, “Am I believable?”, “Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?” If the answer is no, don’t worry. You can work on credibility and re-building it within yourself!
“Self-trust is the first secret to success . . . the essence of heroism.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
So there are 4 Cores of Credibility. Basically, these are what make you believeable! The first 2 deal with character; the second 2 are competence-related. All 4 are necessary!
The 4 Cores of Credibility (Building Blocks of Self-Trust)
Core 1: Integrity – Are You Congruent?
This isn’t the same as honesty. It’s much more than that. Integrity is having the courage to act in alignment with your values and beliefs. You’re actions are congruent with your values.
Core 2: Intent – What’s Your Agenda?
This has everything to do with your motives or agenda and the resulting behavior. Trust grows when our motives aren’t purely self-motivated. It grows when we serve and lead.
Core 3: Capabilities – Are You Relevant?
Simply put, these are the abilities you possess that inspire confidence. This could include our talents, strengths, skills, knowledge… It’s the means we use to produce results. These can come from training.
Core 4: Results – What’s Your Track Record?
Did you do what you said you would do? People pay attention to the promises or commitments you make and if you follow through on them. This affects self-trust when you continually miss the goals you set for yourself, just as it affects others when you have a poor track record with them.
To get a better understanding of how these 4 cores work together, check out the diagram of the tree. Credibility is a living, growing thing that should be nurtured. Integrity exists as the roots and Results at the top. Makes sense, right?
Look over these cores of credibility. Where do you need work? Where are you doing great and deserve a nice pat on the back? Identify the areas you need work and get to it. If self-trust is required to build trust with others and no relationship can exist without trust, shouldn’t this be a priority?
P.S. — Share this on facebook or twitter if you’d like to help someone improve their own self-trust.