Trust Behaviors You Must Exhibit to Build Strong Relationship Trust

This is a step 2 Blog, following the “How to Build Self-Trust” one from yesterday. Obviously, I take the concept of trust very seriously and you should too!  Without it, you will fail in your business endeavors and your relationships.  Sound a little dramatic??  Well, do you spend time or money with people you don’t trust?

I didn’t think so!

You may be the smartest and most skilled person in your industry, but if I don’t trust you, none of that matters.  So once you’ve mastered self-trust (LINK TO BLOG), you can move on to relationship trust, as discussed in Stephen M.R. Covey’s book, “The Speed of Trust“.  Just like self-trust, you can build relationship trust through certain behaviors I’m gonna go over here.  These are based loosely on the ones Covey covers in his book!

Don’t freak out as you look ever these . . .they’re not meant to be easy.  They’re meant to be effective!  Real trust takes some time to develop and nurture which is another reason to get started now!

“You can’t talk yourself out of a problem you’ve behaved yourself into.” – Stephen R. Covey

“No, but you can behave yourself out of a problem you’ve behaved yourself into . . . and often faster than you think!” – Stephen M. R. Covey

13 Trust Behaviors Designed to Change Your Life

1. Talk Straight

Tell the truth and leave the right impression. Simply let people know where you stand by using simple language and integrity.  Never manipulate people or distort the facts to fit your needs.  Leaving false impressions on purpose is the same as lying.  Isn’t it so refreshing when someone just shoots straight with you?  You feel respected and confident you have the information you need to make a decision.

2. Demonstrate Respect

The best way to do this by being genuine.  Don’t “fake” care for someone.  People will see straight through that.  There’s nothing worse than watching someone you trust be super kind to someone, then turn around and bad mouth them to you as soon as they walk off.  Second, treat EVERYONE with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you!  Last, and an important one for busy leaders, don’t try to be “efficient” with people.  You’ve been there, right?  It’s where you’re talking to someone, and they’re checking their watch or looking past you to find the real person they wanted to talk to!  Don’t be that guy!

3. Create Transparency

“What you see is what you get!” is a great way to lead and build relationship trust!  Share all of the information you can in an authentic and genuine way where people can verify the facts you just shared.  Don’t intentionally hide information from people.  Once they find out, not good!  And you feel bad.  So err on the side of full disclosure!  They’ll respect you for it!

4. Right Wrongs

Admit your mistakes.  Do everything you can to make it right and apologize quickly.  Basically, don’t let pride get in the way of doing the right thing.  It all comes down to personal accountability and humility!

“To know what is right and not to do it is the worst kind of cowardice.” – Confucius

5. Show Loyalty

Give credit where credit is due!  One way I practice this trust behavior is acting as if the person I’m talking about is present.  That way, I know I won’t say something I wouldn’t want them to hear and everything they would!  🙂 Respect people’s privacy by not sharing something they confided in you.  Stand up for those who aren’t present to stand up for themselves.

6. Deliver Results

This trust behavior is pretty easy to get since it’s so straightforward . . .establish a track record of results.  Just get the right things done and make it happen!  Strive to undercommit and overdeliver! No excuses.

7. Get Better

I love this one!  The fact that you’re reading this blog tells me that you’re a learner looking to improve.  Constant personal development is a must!  For ideas on development, check out the top leadership books list and the top self help books list I created.  Also, be open and receptive to the feedback people are giving you.

8. Confront Reality

This one can be difficult, especially if your reality sucks! 😉 You know what I mean . . .ignoring the bad stuff does not make it go away. Take issues head on and address the tough stuff directly and efficiently!  Acknowledge the elephant in the room when others won’t.  That is a very respected trust behavior!

9. Clarify Expectations

Make sure everyone is on the same page regarding what’s expected of each person in every relationship.  If you have a business partner and the expenses are totally out of whack, it should be clear who’s responsible for that.  That clarity comes from removing assumptions, stating things clearly and renegotiating, as needed.  This is so important to build relationship trust and to avoid simple misunderstandings that can become huge problems.

10. Practice Accountability

When things go well, give credit to others.  When things don’t, take accountability.  This is a credo I live by as a leader.  Obviously, this shouldn’t be taken literally but I hope you get the point.  Too often responsibility is shirked and the blame game starts.  Keep it positive.  Hold yourself accountable and be a model for others to follow.  This trust behavior feels good when you practice it…. and it has a trickle down effect that’s phenomenal!

11. Listen First

Seek first to understand then to be understood.  HUGELY important habit.  People love to feel not only heard but understood.  Listen with your ears, eyes and heart and get the full picture.  Do this, and the speed o trust will be Mach3!  🙂  Not only that, your ability to lead will be improved because you’ll know what’s going on versus assuming you have all the answers.  Hell, you may not even know the questions, much less the answers.  Everyone wins here when you practice this trust behavior!

12. Keep Commitments

Simply put, say what you’re going to do, then go do it!  Commitments should not be made lightly if you plan to keep them.  If you’re unsure, don’t voice the commitment .  . . remember, “undercommit and overdeliver”.  If you do find yourself in a broken commitment situation, own it.  Take accountability and move on. Do better next time.

13. Extend Trust

I love the way Covey says this in his book, “The Speed of Trust”, so I’m going to quote it directly here.  “Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust.  Extend trust conditionally to those who are earning your trust . . . have a propensity to trust.  Don’t withhold trust because there is risk involved.”  Couldn’t have said it better myself, Mr. Covey!

Whew!  Told you they were powerful!  I understand you may be doing great with some of these trust behaviors.  However, I do hope you’ve identified some that could require some focused attention.  Once you have those determined, you can put an action plan in place.  I recommend referring to “The Speed of Trust” to assist you with that one.  He has an entire chapter dedicated on identifying areas of work and how to create an action plan accordingly!  Awesome stuff!

P.S. — Help spread the trust by sharing this on facebook and twitter.  🙂